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19 August 2020

Mediation

Starting in 2019 I had the goal of meditating every day. While I did not make it that year, it did help me broadly live a more settled life. Now, I will keep track of some of my efforts.

Meditation Journal

Starting August 1st, 2020 I will be doing a 60day meditation challenge. The last few months (moving across country temporarily during covid, long distance, paper deadlines, and teaching) have caused a lot of understandable anxiety. It’s not worth taking out on myself or my friends, so I hope this helps.

  1. Aug 1: 10’. Meditated with Max, I find that meditating with other people has a higher ceiling of how profound it can be, but is tricky. Lots of room to get back to my best practice
  2. Aug 2: 10’ was excited about this. The super warm sun with eyes open was very nice when I was distracted by journaling or my challenge. 4’ listened to the piece on spiritual materialism before, and feel bad about the 60 day plan on this. Will re-evaluate as I go, and post when I think the notes are worth it. Day 2 was a very good day - I was much better at managing my own neuroticisms.
  3. Aug 3: 10’ one of my favorite exercises with eyes open is breathing the world in with exhales, and trying to reverse on the exhale. Look for the point you are exhaling into or from, and there is nothing there.
  4. Aug 4: 10’ defined by a happy puppy and friend interruption. Lots of stimulus and hard to focus, but brief mental clarity.
  5. Aug 5: 10’ very nice start to the day. Been doing poorly in getting my second sessions in, but definitely need them lunch or dinner time. 5’ scattered after a long long day. Hope to progress from here, but nice to set time aside for myself.
  6. Aug 6: 10’ I’m thinking about upping to 20’. Normally starting to feel settled just by the end of the session. That could be the whole point though, with diminishing returns afterwards. 5’ nothing de settles me much more than being told you have another non negligible piece of work due within 12 hours of notice.
  7. Aug 7: 10’ I love to zone out and look at the wind or grass flickering in the wind. Probably had this happen in 5-10 meditation sessions, but feels like you’re in art.
  8. Aug 8: 20’ my first twenty minutes was good. Way more moments of practice in returning to being mindful. Sore hips by the end. Was very grateful to start the practice today.
  9. Aug 9: 10’ finally feel like I’m arriving in a decent form of my practice again. Can arrive quickly, de load, and accept what appears.
  10. Aug 10: 15’ welp that ain’t it chief. Total try again later vibes.
  11. Aug 11: 20’ meditating really is like endurance training. Very hard to predict a specific day, effected by stress and diet, but progress continues. Yet; I would say I am distinctly not mindful still.
  12. Aug 12: 10’ coffee, screen time, and lack of movement makes such intense congestion feelings in the front of my head. 🤪
  13. Aug 13: 10’ walking meditation post run. So much more to see but also distracting. I want to try bookending runs with this. Or walks listening to podcasts to re center.
  14. First day it slipped my mind — it happens.
  15. Aug 15: 10’ play for the sake of play is a form of a meditation. Thanks puppies.
  16. Aug 16: 20’ first time falling asleep meditating in a long while.
  17. Aug 17: 5’ walking meditation during a therapy session, very metta oriented. Therapy is like mindfulness.
  18. Aug 18: 10’ metta meditation. Good more making you feel good about yourself, maybe not as good for long term mindfulness ability?
  19. Aug 19: 10’ caffeine’s ability to alter all aspects of the lives mental experience is remarkable to say the least. Balancing trying to listen to sounds with my accelerated thoughts is a workout.


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